Paris. A Cameroonian citizen, separated from his wife, with two children, assaulted his wife's lover, another Cameroonian national. The assailant's standpoint is very clear: he felt betrayed by a person he had hosted as a friend, who had took advantage of the circumstances to steal his wife. In his opinion, he was perfectly entitled to punch him. The lover's version was completely different: while the couple's marriage was deteriorating, his friend's wife had asked him for help as she was in dire circumstances: only afterwards, their relationship turned out more intimate but it had nothing to do with that former, separated couple. From his standpoint, then, nothing justified having been injured and several teeth broken. He requested 1.500 French francs as a restitution and was ready to suit his friend, if necessary.
The situation had reached a stalemate until, during the mediation, the husband accepted to pay by instalments the reimbursement due: at that very moment, the assaulted man changed his facial expression and started to think it over. After all, they were both Cameroonian nationals who both run the risk to be expulsed. At that point he decided to withdraw any claims for restitution.
Mediation process:
1) Theory: the opposite standpoints of the husband and the lover
2) Krisis: confrontation of different pains:
- new awareness of the husband that the lover was not necessarily the catalyser of his marriage's breakdown;
- acknowledgement from the lover of the desperate situation of the husband and the latter's willingness to repair the injury.
3) Catharsis: passing from self-awareness to the ability of contemplating the other's interests. The cathartic effect of acknowledging the other's needs allows to overcome one's own suffering and to recognize a weak human being within our own assailant. The lover's conduct helped to improve also the attitude of the husband who stopped seeing the enemy in his wife's lover and started to consider him a human being who was ready to do its best.
The mediator's role:
Helps thickening the words' hidden meaning which is often disregarded by interlocutors. The mediator becomes an intermediary, a catalyser between uttered and silent speech. The mediator was able to build a speech where the parties managed to express themselves through the strong words their own suffering deserved.
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